How to bang out a jam sandwich
All of my friends were gassed for this
Get the bread. If it is not already sliced, then use a sharp and lethal implement to eviscerate it.
Once you’ve done that, get a thick wad of preferably softened butter all over your knife and slather it all over the bread
Once the bread is sufficiently coated, reach for your jam and spread it like your life depends on it. Go on, you know you want it, you dirty sket.
Once you’ve done this, you can add an additional piece of bread to complete the sandwich formula and eat it, safe in the knowledge that you have made a throughly banging jam sandwich