Step 1: Get the bread. If it is not already sliced, then use a sharp and lethal implement to eviscerate it.
Step 3: Once you’ve done that, get a thick wad of preferably softened butter all over your knife and slather it all over the bread
Step 5: Once the bread is sufficiently coated, reach for your jam and spread it like your life depends on it. Go on, you know you want it, you dirty sket.
Step 7: Once you’ve done this, you can add an additional piece of bread to complete the sandwich formula and eat it, safe in the knowledge that you have made a throughly banging jam sandwich